Monday, May 20, 2013

Struggles.



Good evening my blog loves!
It's day 20!!

Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

I know that many of you read this post the other day,
about my 'lot in life' and I told everyone that I was ridiculously happy
and I wouldn't change a thing.

That's still true.
I love everything about my life and I wouldn't change it.
But there is a little something I've been struggling with recently
and I've been looking for a good way to bring it up on this here blog.
This seems like a pretty good opportunity to me.
And as you're reading, don't get me wrong.
I don't want to complain.

I'm posting this for two reasons.

one. In the hopes that someone out there has experienced what I'm going through and can help.

two. In the hopes that my experience can help someone else.

And if neither of those things are accomplished through this post then oh well!
At least I was open and honest with something I've been struggling with for months.

It all started wayyy back in October. Right after my wedding.
Well, it actually started way before that but it came on very gradually.
It got pretty bad in October so I always think of that as the starting point.

Around that time I started feeling this awful ache in my leg muscles.
It wasn't like my muscles were sore from working out.
It actually felt like I had bruises all up and down my thighs.
So if I ran my fingers up my thighs it would hurt.

Over the past seven months it's spread to pretty much my whole body.
First my arms and then my back and then my sides and stomach.
Some days are just awful.

I've had to readjust my entire wardrobe.
I can't wear nylons or leggings.
I've changed the way I do certain things.
Like, when I carry a bunch of books I can't lean it on my hip
or it hurts. Or when I'm kneeling I can't lean my elbow on my thigh.
And the worst thing of all...
I can't wear skinny jeans. On most days.

Obviously I've been working with my doctor to figure out what the heck is going on.
There have been times where I've totally broken down with my husband
and thought for sure I had some terminal illness.
Total panic attacks.
And then there have been days where I'm so confident I will get past this and move on.
They'll figure it out and I'll be cured.

But alas, it's seven months later and I have no answers.
They thought it was rheumatoid arthritis but that was a negative.
They thought it was my thyroid. Negative.
They thought it was Lyme. Multiple times. Negative.

I've had sooooooo much blood work done and my doctor keeps telling me that
by just looking at my blood work I look fantastic. It's perfect.
But I don't feel perfect.

What I've ended up with is either Fibromyalgia or Celiacs disease.
My doctors tell me there's no way it's Celiacs because my tests came back negative
and I don't have that many GI problems. I've read otherwise. As I hear it,
the blood tests are highly inaccurate and a lot of people who have celiacs never even have GI issues!

So here's where I'm at now.
It might be either of these diseases or neither of them.
I'm praying it's one or the other just so I can have an answer!
For Fibromyalgia the treatment is usually an antidepressant.
My doctor prescribed me Cymbalta.
This is a serious drug and after reading all the side 
effects I know you don't screw around with it.

Although my doctors think it's unlikely I've decided to cut out gluten
before taking the Cymbalta. I'd rather go natural and find out it doesn't work
then start taking such a serious medication just to find out I don't need it.

I've been gluten free for just over three weeks now.
We've also cut out dairy because we learned that the Casein in it looks so similar
to gluten that somebody's body with Celiacs might attack the Casein too.

Let me tell you, this has NOT been easy.
Gluten free was fine. But Dairy?!
Do you know how many things have dairy in them?!
And I'm a vegetarian.

It's been tough but if it solves the problem, then hey, I'm all for it.
I know that the benchmark for gluten free is six months so I'm not expecting miracles overnight.
So far I haven't really felt a difference. I have good days and bad days just like I always have.

I'd love to hear from anyone with celiacs or fibromyalgia or who has had a similar experience to mine.
My ears are open and I am definitely taking tips and advice!
Cuz the sooner I can feel better and move past this, the better!
In the meantime, I'm just trying to live my life like nothing is wrong and just enjoy every second!

Tomorrow, Day 21 -
A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives

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2 comments:

  1. Ah man, I hope you figure something out! I'm sure that is not fun at all!!!!

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  2. We are similar in the fact that it's really hard for me to write about my struggles on my blog too. It's very easy to get consumed with your own problems and think they are the worst, but then you look outside your world and realize that there are people way worse off and you are really rather lucky. You did not sound at all like you were complaining or anything so I just wanted you to know that. I also wanted you to know that I am the same way when I post about my struggles. I don't want to come off like I'm complaining or like I have the worst problems in the world, because I don't.

    That said... this pain that you are dealing with sounds awful. Not knowing and not having a diagnosis can leave you anxiety ridden for what seems like forever. I've had phases of "mystery diseases" with no diagnosis and I know what it feels like. All you want is to be helped and there is no one who seems to know whats wrong with you in the first place. Very annoying.

    I do hope that you find some answers, and of course, some relief from the pain. You are such a strong woman. I'd be a mess! I'm sure you have both good days and bad, as you mentioned.. but you are still really strong. I admire that. Thinking/praying for you.

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