Thursday, March 21, 2013

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Find out what it means to me.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T......

What does she say there?!? 
Does anyone actually know the words?

It's funny how you can listen to a song your whole life and never actually know the words to it.

Respect is something I try to teach to my kids everyday and I realized something today.  I expect my kids to be respectful all the time.  In fact, sometimes I get mad at them for being disrespectful.  But you know what?  Even as adults I think we have difficulty with respect sometimes. Especially when it comes to respect in a relationship.

In a relationship, I think respect is right up there with communication.  
I'm not sure which is more important.  You can be super respectful towards each other, but if you can't communicate everything will fall apart.  Or you could communicate the crap out of everything but if you don't respect each other you'll never have a well developed and close relationship. 

So really, I guess they tie.  You need both in equal quantities.
It's not always easy, though is it? To be respectful towards each other.
ALL the time.

Sometimes when you're angry, don't you just want to scream?
Or when you're frustrated, don't you just want to say....
"GEEZ, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO IT MY WAY!"

I heard someone say once that we hurt the people we love the most because we know they'll always come back.  It's true when you think about it.
Sad, but true.

Really, though, we can do that with our family because they're stuck with us.  They always have to come back no matter how many angry, frustrated, hurtful words we throw at them.

But with a spouse, how many times will they come back before they just give up all together?

In our relationship, Jeremie and I have been working on our communication skills pretty much since day one.  That's because I basically have NO communication skills.
Like, zero.

I like to shut down when I'm mad.  
I forget to ask how his day was unless I consciously remind myself.
I don't always share my emotions even when it's something I should be sharing.

Luckily, Jeremie does have communication skills and he teaches me how to talk.

But respect is something we can all work on.  If I expect my kids to be respectful all the time, why shouldn't I expect the same from myself?  And I'm not saying Jeremie and I aren't respectful towards each other.  We have a GREAT relationship and I couldn't be happier. But I'm always amazed at how much we are learning and how many things we can work on.  

I used to think that you found someone you loved, got married and everything was just easy.  Like, you were just in a relationship and nothing changed.  It was no different then living as a single person.  But now I understand that molding two lives together can be a challenge and you can't just sit back a relax. No matter how long we are together, we will always have things to work on to make our relationship better.

Work it. Make it. Do it.
Makes us
 Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.

Oh yea, I just quoted Kanye West. I guess I'm just in a singing kind of mood.
 I'm a little ashamed of it but not enough to go back and take it out because it's true. 
Relationships are work. 
And it's so worth it.  
There is no feeling like being in a strong, open, respectful relationship with someone you love.

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